Intruder

It was a cat burglar!

Now I am not particularly fond of cats, in fact we do quite well keeping our distance from each other. Cats belong on dairy farms to police the mice and if they are shed-proof and well-maintained they can live in OTHER people's houses. But as for me and my house...we don't "do" cats. That is probably what made last night so...so...exciting?

Yesterday I received a call from my wife and after we chatted about several miscellaneous issues affecting the household, she asked, "Did you see or smell anything on your sweatshirt last night?". "Uh, no...why?" "Well, I picked up a coat and your fleece that were laying on the floor and some "poop" fell out." "WAT??" 

Location of Initial Sighting

It was in that twilight zone when the children are "almost" ready for bed and the parents finally take a seat and hardly feel like finishing the task of putting the children in bed. Our oldest was banging out Fur Elise on the piano, when suddenly she screamed, "IT'S A CAT!!!" 

I looked up to see a fat, yellow, hairy fur-ball go streaking across the living room. It was easily identified as the neighbor man's cat. "WHAT IS THAT THING DOING IN HERE", I bellowed. "OUT, OUT!"

The frightened animal ran one way then another as 5 children and a dad attempted to shoo it...somewhere. I eventually cornered it in the laundry where it crouched and began hissing at me but rather than turning toward the door to freedom, it turned and went back through the kitchen and down a ancient pet door that I should have closed up eons ago.

"Good", I thought at least it's not in the house now we just shoo it out the back door. Ha, no such luck. First it hid in the "dark" part of the basement. Then it attempted to run back up the stairs to the house. "AHHH! NO NO not up THERE!" I found a stick and managed to get it to stop climbing the stairs. It would not go back down or jump, it just clung to the steps for dear life and growled at me.

Oh dear.

Finally, I coaxed it to jump off the step (not far for a cat). It then hurriedly scampered...UNDER the landing and crouched in the corner.

Eva's final hideout.

Now what...

I know, I will go get the owner. I duly instructed the children to make sure it doesn't go back up the stairs into the house. Anything but that.

Knock, Knock. 

"Bill, your cat is in my house!" 

"My CAT!" (He has around a dozen) 

"Yes your cat"

"Is she alive?" (Huh? Very much so, but probably on the brink of a heart attack.)

"Could you come help get her out she is hiding and won't come out?"

"Oh my, yes, I thought she was dead or somebody killed her, she has been missing for a couple days."

"REALLY!" (Days???? poop on the floor??? WAT?? This animal has been living in my house for a couple days!!)

Oh I should mention my neighbor is approximately 85 years old with a current occupation as a mason (note: currently).

Together we carefully trudged around the house to the basement entrance with many admonitions to "watch your step". I showed him where the hideout was located. "Oh, my" he exclaimed, "EVA, EVA, come EVA!" But Eva would not budge, nope, not an inch. Now what are we going to do, perhaps shoo all the children away. Food, that's it! So Mr. Neighbor trudged carefully back to his house and got some yummy (yucky) cat food and a broom. (Not to sweep the basement)

Meantime I decided it would be good to occupy the children with going to bed perhaps peace and quiet and Mr. Neighbor alone would persuade "Eva" to surrender peacefully.

The alleged burglar

Now I should interject here that wild imaginations run rampant as cats in our house. "Wouldn't it have been funny if that cat had went upstairs and climbed into bed with someone?" Several of them thought they would have nightmares just from the thought...Brent did cry during the night...hmm. Personally, I am not sure who would have had the heart attack, me or the cat. Since the cat is smaller, I believe it would have been greatly injured in the ensuing brawl.

Now there's got to be a moral here somewhere....Wait for it.

When the cat was safely home, I stepped outside to speak with Mr. Neighbor. "You know Tony, I prayed for that cat. I thought it was dead or someone killed it. God sure answers prayers in mysterious ways!"

Yes, Mr Neighbor, He certainly does...